My heart goes out to you. My story is similar. Everything in school came easy to me. Later in life I found myself outmatched by "lesser minds" who knew the value of consistent effort. I knew I lacked discipline, was envious of others whose parents had taught them this, but could not figure out what to do.
If and only if you are like me, the actual problem is that you have not mastered yourself. One who does not master himself is mastered by others. Mastery of oneself is the ability to make a wise decision and execute.
To get started, literally from scratch, I determined to commit to one decision professionally and another personally. Then later I would expand.
By the way, none of this involves delayed gratification. Self-mastery is immediately gratifying day by day and hour by hour as we see the small results. What people call delayed gratification I experience more as compound interest.
At work it was simple. I committed to watching closely those I admire (or envied). I studied their behavior carefully and practiced it myself. As Aristotle said, when you imitate a person's behavior, you gradually gain an internal understanding of it. Sometimes you even know why they do things better than they do, as you have come into it deliberately and with objectivity.
On the personal side I committed to pursue something fun that I enjoy - even past the easy and fun part. Deeper pleasure in something we enjoy become possible when we give up being the dilettante and seek to be the master.
Life is amazing, but anything worth doing requires sustained effort. Pick something that is worth the effort - to you - and master it.
> was envious of others whose parents had taught them this
My parents tried to teach me but I wouldn’t, and throw the grade cards and other achievements at them- and they stopped trying after a certain age (twelve/thirteen).
I also get pleasure from achievements in my job and learning.
Trying to learn from your peers is a good idea. I will keep it in mind.
If and only if you are like me, the actual problem is that you have not mastered yourself. One who does not master himself is mastered by others. Mastery of oneself is the ability to make a wise decision and execute.
To get started, literally from scratch, I determined to commit to one decision professionally and another personally. Then later I would expand.
By the way, none of this involves delayed gratification. Self-mastery is immediately gratifying day by day and hour by hour as we see the small results. What people call delayed gratification I experience more as compound interest.
At work it was simple. I committed to watching closely those I admire (or envied). I studied their behavior carefully and practiced it myself. As Aristotle said, when you imitate a person's behavior, you gradually gain an internal understanding of it. Sometimes you even know why they do things better than they do, as you have come into it deliberately and with objectivity.
On the personal side I committed to pursue something fun that I enjoy - even past the easy and fun part. Deeper pleasure in something we enjoy become possible when we give up being the dilettante and seek to be the master.
Life is amazing, but anything worth doing requires sustained effort. Pick something that is worth the effort - to you - and master it.