It's definitely not her choice. That kind of decision is typically not made unilaterally. The expectation that the cost of that decision be borne unilaterally is incongruous with actual family dynamics.
Maybe in the ideal world this decision wouldn't be made unilaterally.
In the real world, usually a husband's deference to his wife's choices makes it her choice. If he doesn't defer, there will be arguments until he does.
That's not the ideal view of the world, but it's what I've observed in many friends' relationships.
