I don't understand how someone declining a request to write a recommendation gets you to assume he dislikes you. He just doesn't want to recommend you.
I know plenty of people that I like and work with, but that I wouldn't want to write a recommendation for. This is largely because I do not believe in lauding someone's good sides without also addressing their shortcomings. The latter will not be looked kindly upon in a recommendation. In short: I can not honestly write a recommendation.
I've done it for two ex employees that were really very good. I would do it for most of the others with a couple of exceptions, and I doubt those would ask me for a recommendation anyway.
One of the guys I wrote a recommendation for wanted to interview at google, the other at vmware. The vmware guy got the job, the other didn't.
Whether my recommendations were the deciding factor or not I'll never know, but I did do just what you would do, I addressed their good sides and their shortcomings both, which I think is only fair.
But it still was a recommendation, from the heart, I'd hire both of these guys myself in a heartbeat if the situation would allow it, which is my criterion for whether or not I would write one.
yeah. I dono. I mean, a lot of my verbal recommendations are "S/he is really good at X, but has problem Y, and Would probably work well for the position you have." I dono how that would always translate in 'on your permanent record' type things. It's probably not even the best in person, sometimes.
I remember a few years back I was vacating a position as a contractor, and I was asked for recommendations. So, at the time my business was contracting, and I didn't really need as much help as I had. I recommended they hire one of the guys who was working for me but it was a "well, he can do the job, but here are what's wrong with him. I recommend you hire him"
The client didn't bite. later the body shop/recruiter who had gotten me the gig asked for recommendations, and I said the same thing. Apparently he talked the client into hiring my guy, and the client was pretty happy with the guy for a year or so. (the client hired me again when the guy left.)
Would it have been better for the client if I was good at sales and able to directly sell the guy? maybe.
(my other minor nit was that nobody gave me a kickback. Eh, I did get the guy to work for me at way below market wages for a year or two, so I got something out of it.)
But the upshot is when I give a recommendation, I see it as doing a favor to the company or person that has the open position more than a favor to the person I'm recommending. I mean, if I didn't think you were qualified, I wouldn't have recommended you for the gig, right? sometimes my recommendations are in the format "person X is perfect for the job, but you are unlikely to catch his interest"
On LinkedIn, though, it is different. the recommendations are setup as if you were doing a favor to the person you are recommending, which makes it much harder for me. I mean, how much of the negative stuff do you put in? hell, change the situation and a massive flaw becomes a massive advantage.
My understanding is that you need to be very careful about saying anything negative at all in a reference since it opens you up to a potential defamation lawsuit, and that it's therefore prudent to either give a positive reference or none at all.
I don't understand how someone declining a request to write a recommendation gets you to assume he dislikes you. He just doesn't want to recommend you.
I know plenty of people that I like and work with, but that I wouldn't want to write a recommendation for. This is largely because I do not believe in lauding someone's good sides without also addressing their shortcomings. The latter will not be looked kindly upon in a recommendation. In short: I can not honestly write a recommendation.