>You have phrased this as an almost apologetic post
And I bet this is why the CTO has taken the path that they have. They sense the same thing that we sense from the tone of this comment so they are going after that perceived weakness.
Hi! I'm the same way. That's an excellent attitude to take with people who behave well. But for those who don't, you have to fight them. Certainly for yourself. But if you want to found companies, you're going to have to learn to fight for everybody. Because otherwise one person who enjoys confrontation can make your company a nightmare.
So if you're reluctant to fight for yourself, fight for your colleagues, current and future. And honestly, I think it's good in the long term even for the people you're fighting. To be happy, we all need to learn to respect other people.
Being a doormat is not a virtue. You are never wrong for standing up for yourself. It is the other person who was wrong from the start to try to walk all over you. Deference is not the same thing as respect. Everyone deserves respect, always, but they almost never deserve deference.
FWIW I am more like you. I prefer to work with people like you and most of my colleagues are like this. However, when you are dealing with people that are NOT like this (and there are many of them out there), you have to change your game or get out of the game they are playing. It sucks but there are a great may people in the professional world that have no problem with conflict or that view "nice" people as weak people. Doesn't mean you have to change who you are but you would be well advised to change how you deal with this sort of person or they will walk all over you and not be bothered in the slightest by it.
And I bet this is why the CTO has taken the path that they have. They sense the same thing that we sense from the tone of this comment so they are going after that perceived weakness.