So sorry to hear that. I hope you can still overcome it.
My theory is that addiction is best "cured" by replacing it with something better. That could be doing more satisfying things in your life, but perhaps also simply a less destructive addiction, like playing video games.
I think if you make it into a willpower challenge you are probably doomed to fail, in fact it might make it worse because you'll feel like a bad person for presumably being "weak" (having no willpower). I think modern understanding is that for willpower challenges it is better to arrange things in such a way that the challenge becomes easy (like having no alcohol at home), rather than making it a contest of iron will.
I really enjoyed the books on Willpower by Kelly McGonigal and and by Roy F Baumeister. I suppose just reading such books won't cure an addiction, but perhaps they could be of interest to you.
I'm sorry, it's easy to talk since I never had a severe issue like that. But I had a lot of therapy - what always stuck most were the points when I learned to accept myself.
Well, I would suggest as well starting with reality: give yourself time, do not rush your recovery.
One needs, I guess, professional help, and the understanding that, probably, you will need a lot of time to overcome the addiction. Willpower (what Aristotle calls 'virtue') in a specific aspect in which one lacks is difficult and hard to acquire. I guess it can be done but it is just a guess. Something very important is, to me, to give real value to your little successes every day and never to despair (when one is an addict, there is little 'will' in his addictive behaviour, this is exactly the problem, to develop a 'will', and this is very much like getting physically stronger: you will not make it in a day, but any step helps).
I really hope the OP makes it and ends up having a happy life, which is a free one. He has my prayers.
My theory is that addiction is best "cured" by replacing it with something better. That could be doing more satisfying things in your life, but perhaps also simply a less destructive addiction, like playing video games.
I think if you make it into a willpower challenge you are probably doomed to fail, in fact it might make it worse because you'll feel like a bad person for presumably being "weak" (having no willpower). I think modern understanding is that for willpower challenges it is better to arrange things in such a way that the challenge becomes easy (like having no alcohol at home), rather than making it a contest of iron will.
I really enjoyed the books on Willpower by Kelly McGonigal and and by Roy F Baumeister. I suppose just reading such books won't cure an addiction, but perhaps they could be of interest to you.
I'm sorry, it's easy to talk since I never had a severe issue like that. But I had a lot of therapy - what always stuck most were the points when I learned to accept myself.