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novice -> informed -> asshole

I strive to be at the informed part of the spectrum.

Wine example:

- Novice: "I'd like any red wine" -> waiter brings you something you don't like

- Informed: "I'd like a red wine that is dry, not st" -> waiter brings you something you are quite likely to like

- Asshole: "Do you have an Argentinian malbec from 1998-2000, from the so and so valley?" -> you spend a lot of money and like the wine, or you are unhappy because they don't meet your asshole preferences

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novice -> informed -> asshole -> seasoned

Keep pushing through the asshole stage and you get to another where you learn to enjoy what you enjoy, whether it is a $10 chocolate chip cookie or Chips A'Hoy. A $200 bottle of wine or a $5 bottle.

It is possible to dig deep into subjects and emerge with a nuanced understanding rather than an asshole demeanor!

I've kept aquariums basically my whole life and have had all kinds of critters including a really expensive marine tank fully kitted out with fish worth hundreds each. My current favorites are some guppies I got for free because it wasn't worth charging for them!


> - Asshole: "Do you have an Argentinian malbec from 1998-2000, from the so and so valley?" -> you spend a lot of money and like the wine, or you are unhappy because they don't meet your asshole preferences

So asshole is having preferences that don't fit the norm? If they don't impose their standards on you, and do not act a snob, why do you care?


In general, you should avoid putting people in positions where they have to admit their inadequacy to fulfill your preferences.

A better question is to first ask what they have, and see if there is reasonable expectation they can fulfill something so exact.




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