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Wow that hits hard.

Anyone that resonates with that letter, please speak to someone. If you're a male in the UK there's Andy's man club[0], which is just a group of normal guys who chat about life - including mental health. You'll hear first hand how close a lot of them came to tapping out but made it through and are glad they did. No matter how bleak it seems, there is a route to something that resembles happiness... you might just need a helping hand from others to get there.

[0] https://andysmanclub.co.uk/



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