Agreed :) In case this helps anyone else, she's now talked to a lawyer. Sounds like a spouse of an American can get forgiven for everything anyway especially if they have a kid because otherwise the American would suffer e:g by being a single parent (strangely, being separated from their spouse isn't considered hardship...) I think the employer is playing games to control her and probably hasn't actually cancelled the visa. If she wasn't getting married of course, with the chance of being forgiven, that'd be more of a stress. So, anyone contemplating an O-1 visa, make sure your sponsor is decent!