Who is "they"?

I'm pretty sure its a joke. It's based on the thinking that "the government" is trying to remove all our pleasure of life, such as smoking, eating meat and drinking. The joke is to compare the pleasure of sitting on the toilet with these vices.

In this case, doctors. In a more general sense, those people who feel they are smarter than you and should control your life.

Very true, but then they are only trying to protect people like me from others who act out of self-interest and without consideration for others.

That's the whole rationale behind public health and hygiene policies (until recently that was taken for granted).

> (until recently that was taken for granted).

I wonder why that attitude changed…oh yeah, I remember now…it’s when our public health authorities started making decisions based on political tribalism instead of trying to actually protect people in the one moment in modern times when they they should have shined for us.

You don’t get to fail that bigly and retain your reputation.

Big Bidet

given the stunning regularity of pro-bidet discussions on reddit and HN, I'm wouldn't be surprised if Big Bidet is a thing and is pushing aggressively via online marketing

A mechanical shepherd, and one herd.