> A good manager requires a very different skill set to an engineer. The primary skill is to have extremely low neuroticism. The ability to make good decisions and present a calm and rational exterior under prolonged stress.
This is one of the best summaries I have seen. It is also why it feels so similar to parenting: a good manager needs the ability to be the grown-up. This usually involves unfun things like calling out the elephant in the room, letting people air grievances about your decisions in a group, and staying engaged with people even when they're disengaging and pushing you away.
To me, management always felt like it was something that required all my spoons, and it wanted more, no matter how much I gave. I feel this more a lack of fit than something intrinsic to management, though. FWIW I have moderate neuroticism (according to rando Internet surveys). I suspect I'm not good at simply letting things be good enough, and the broadened responsibilities of management present an emotional scaling issue.
> I suspect I'm not good at simply letting things be good enough
You might be overly hard on yourself here. Everything is a spectrum. My usual failure mode seems to be excessive patience when folks aren’t delivering. It is extremely bad when you let it fester. Lots of stuff doesn’t matter, but when important things aren’t happening, you really need to jump on it fast and insist on the high bar.
This is one of the best summaries I have seen. It is also why it feels so similar to parenting: a good manager needs the ability to be the grown-up. This usually involves unfun things like calling out the elephant in the room, letting people air grievances about your decisions in a group, and staying engaged with people even when they're disengaging and pushing you away.
To me, management always felt like it was something that required all my spoons, and it wanted more, no matter how much I gave. I feel this more a lack of fit than something intrinsic to management, though. FWIW I have moderate neuroticism (according to rando Internet surveys). I suspect I'm not good at simply letting things be good enough, and the broadened responsibilities of management present an emotional scaling issue.