That article is true but hardly fair. MUMPS has the "blessing" of early success dating back to the bygone era of punchcards. We all point and laugh at the single letter keywords now because a candle [0] now has more RAM than a database server did at the time. Would Crockford have been around to write "MUMPS, The Good Parts" in the middle 1970's we might all be using a general purpose programing language with built-in persistence to a no-SQL document store.
The guy literally just mentioned MUMPS.
https://thedailywtf.com/articles/A_Case_of_the_MUMPS