Do you, though? Try reading Barbara Sher's "Refuse to Choose". There's a place in the world for everyone, and not everyone has to be an administrator to succeed.
Yes, I believe what you say. But I will have to pay the bills and get fast internet and have money to pay health insurance. I also want to start a family some day.
And do these, I need a job. Rather than a boring, Dilbert type job, I would prefer an R&D position, or be a professor, etc.
And to do these, I need discipline, and that is why I am trying hard, and making this post to see if I can get a good advice.
Rather than working in fintech, or at a webdev consultancy firm, I would like a better environment and an esoteric job. I have mostly failed because the lack of discipline and work ethics.
I think I was able to convey why I am trying hard and in distress about my lack of work ethics and discipline.
Do you, though? Try reading Barbara Sher's "Refuse to Choose". There's a place in the world for everyone, and not everyone has to be an administrator to succeed.