I've actively avoided the U.S. even though I still want to go, because of those same issues.
I even was a few meters from the U.S. (Niagara Falls) and avoided going because of all the visa complications and expenses plus the security measures (if it had been a given I'd be accepted I would have gone, but they don't like young unattached people saying they want to do "tourism", they expect we'll want to stay).
French national who visited Canada a few months ago here. I crossed the US/CA border with only a small backpack ( I left my luggage at the bus station ) and the US border agents after the Rainbow Bridge where fun and welcoming.
It wasn't the case in SFO, after a 12 hours flight from Paris, the agent was OK but far from welcoming.
I have to apply for a visa, and at the time there was a significant chance of it being denied - and forget about being refunded, and chances of it being accepted after re-applying drop dramatically. So it isn't worth it.
I could probably be accepted for a visa now since I "settled down".
And Canadian customs and inmigration were very friendly, I don't doubt the U.S. people might be the same (though they did fingerprint my father the time he was there, and he reported a few not so friendly times, and he is a frequent visitor).
I even was a few meters from the U.S. (Niagara Falls) and avoided going because of all the visa complications and expenses plus the security measures (if it had been a given I'd be accepted I would have gone, but they don't like young unattached people saying they want to do "tourism", they expect we'll want to stay).