How is it ad hominem to say that somebody's comment is excessively harsh to somebody, but not ad hominem to say that somebody's comment is attacking somebody? They're extremely similar sentiments, and I personally wouldn't categorize either as ad hominem for the same reason — a person is distinct from the tone of their comment.
The AH isn’t saying that a comment is too harsh, it’s saying that the commenter has anger problems and should do something about them. It’s uncalled for and condescending. I don’t see a reason to say that besides trying to make someone angry and start a useless dispute.
When I spent a bit too long on reddit, I started to realize that all threads there degenerate into this, given enough attention. Without moderation, it just feels like a series of dead-end discussions where trying to participate isn’t worth the effort because any nuanced arguments will fly out the window when people get tired of arguments and want to start fighting. I hope this place doesn’t become that.
