Fundraising expenses are a huge problem with large charities, but it doesn't follow that fundraising annoyingness is a huge problem. It's not a customer service problem with donors; it's a "using too much of proceeds on fundraising" problem.
If an organization believes spending a marginal dollar of money on their programs is the best way to improve the world, then spending $10 to get $11 in donations allows them to spend an extra dollar on it. It's rational and even morally required. (The only potential negative being the extent that winning a contribution crowds out funding from other causes.)
More generally, people overly emphasize low administrative expenses as a sign of quality. You need overhead to effectively administrate and evaluate programs.
I don't want to get tangled up in abstractions here. To a decent first approximation, every large charity well-reviewed by Charity Navigator (or the like) fundraises from past donors aggressively. It would be a red flag if they weren't annoying previous donors. Empirically, the idea of "never giving money to organizations that ask for money" is likely to steer you away from the most effective aid organizations.
