You and I want the same basic things. Among them food, sleep, and a home. Security and belonging. Love. The opportunity to contribute, be seen, and have meaning in our existence.
It is when I forget these truths that I start to believe that my unfulfilled needs are due to something outside of my own ability to influence. A bitterness arises towards you who have these things and I construct stories about how you are doing something wrong or that I am superior to you simply because I have the strength to withstand not having those needs met.
Beneath the shell, the facade, is a simpler but more difficult to digest truth. That my own need goes unfulfilled and I am angry about it.
And here I find a self-destructive behavior. You have a desire to help me get or create what I need in my life. But my pride and fear of being vulnerable gets in the way. And underneath it, the shame of being a burden.
With force I push back all attempts at kindness and care. I cling to the shell of bitterness and anger.
In this moment I try to ask myself:
Can I acknowledge to myself that there is something I can change that could change everything for me?
Can you actually WANT to share without a hidden agenda?
Can I let go of my pride a little, just enough to receive the help?
Can I be humble, have enough self-esteem to believe in my own worth. To be worthy of the care extended to me by my fellow human? Do I dare believe in the inherent goodness of others actually wanting to do something for my sake?
I let go of the need to be alone
I let go of the need to increase my pride through criticizing others and being bitter towards them
I accept the basic goodness of my fellow humans, even if I feel betrayed by them
I let go of self-criticism and accept that I too am fundamentally worthy of love
I create the opportunity for meaningful and loving interactions to exist in my reality
The world has enough villains. I let go of my bitterness, because I have understood that it deeply reflects my own shame and guilt. With that, I forgive myself for my self-justification and judgment of others.
I choose to live in a world where I can be vulnerable and open to receiving love and care. A world where I can give love and care to others without reservation.
It is when I forget these truths that I start to believe that my unfulfilled needs are due to something outside of my own ability to influence. A bitterness arises towards you who have these things and I construct stories about how you are doing something wrong or that I am superior to you simply because I have the strength to withstand not having those needs met.
Beneath the shell, the facade, is a simpler but more difficult to digest truth. That my own need goes unfulfilled and I am angry about it.
And here I find a self-destructive behavior. You have a desire to help me get or create what I need in my life. But my pride and fear of being vulnerable gets in the way. And underneath it, the shame of being a burden.
With force I push back all attempts at kindness and care. I cling to the shell of bitterness and anger.
In this moment I try to ask myself:
Can I be humble, have enough self-esteem to believe in my own worth. To be worthy of the care extended to me by my fellow human? Do I dare believe in the inherent goodness of others actually wanting to do something for my sake?I let go of the need to be alone I let go of the need to increase my pride through criticizing others and being bitter towards them I accept the basic goodness of my fellow humans, even if I feel betrayed by them I let go of self-criticism and accept that I too am fundamentally worthy of love
I create the opportunity for meaningful and loving interactions to exist in my reality
The world has enough villains. I let go of my bitterness, because I have understood that it deeply reflects my own shame and guilt. With that, I forgive myself for my self-justification and judgment of others.
I choose to live in a world where I can be vulnerable and open to receiving love and care. A world where I can give love and care to others without reservation.