Instead of listing everything you want and cannot control, it could help to focus on things that you can control. In your case this would be employment which would help you to regain self confidence and potentially allow you to save (towards the house you want). Everything else can then fall into place in it’s own time.
Additionally - and independently - I would encourage taking steps that allow you to experience joy. For example, go to a hostel (but avoid one full of teenagers) at the beach in a cheap place - South America or Africa or Asia, learn to talk to random strangers there. Teach yourself something cheap and fun, like surfing. Start working there on the side on the bar or volunteer there to finance it. Maybe add some meditation once you feel stable and happy.
Additionally - and independently - I would encourage taking steps that allow you to experience joy. For example, go to a hostel (but avoid one full of teenagers) at the beach in a cheap place - South America or Africa or Asia, learn to talk to random strangers there. Teach yourself something cheap and fun, like surfing. Start working there on the side on the bar or volunteer there to finance it. Maybe add some meditation once you feel stable and happy.