The most important lesson for me in this area is this: I can only control today, and not every day is going to be a home run.
For me, trying to commit to big, sweeping, dramatic, permanent changes on a dime in my life has always resulted in failure and been a mistake. Whereas when I make a decision to make some small incremental progress/task today, and worry about re-committing tomorrow, tomorrow, I've had success.
Otherwise, I buckle under the burden of my own commitment and in failing, come to hate myself more and sabotage myself more.
After more or less discovering this on my own I found St. Alphonsus Liguori discussing this in his book Preparation for Death. In his case he's discussing the limited issue of the folly of making overly-sweeping spiritual commitments, but I find it true in the abstract.
* Also: I found that, there's a complicated problem where introspection can be immensely valuable, but can also turn into a selfish impulse, that sitting around thinking of yourself all day can produce no good fruit for yourself, and that getting out and doing charity can get you off that track. I was very depressed once and started volunteering at a soup kitchen every day. It didn't transform me into a happy person but it got my too-inwardly-focused thoughts out of a rut.
It's very true about attempting dramatic and sweeping changes. You are sure to disappoint yourself. For me it has been much more gratifying to adopt the concept of "no zero days". That is, I don't want to have a day where I make zero progress on at least one of my goals. It's very hard to "build a new product" or "get in shape". It's a lot easier to write one method or do 10 minutes of exercise. Even at the end of a tough day, you can look at yourself and commit to do something for 10 minutes.
For me, trying to commit to big, sweeping, dramatic, permanent changes on a dime in my life has always resulted in failure and been a mistake. Whereas when I make a decision to make some small incremental progress/task today, and worry about re-committing tomorrow, tomorrow, I've had success.
Otherwise, I buckle under the burden of my own commitment and in failing, come to hate myself more and sabotage myself more.
After more or less discovering this on my own I found St. Alphonsus Liguori discussing this in his book Preparation for Death. In his case he's discussing the limited issue of the folly of making overly-sweeping spiritual commitments, but I find it true in the abstract.
* Also: I found that, there's a complicated problem where introspection can be immensely valuable, but can also turn into a selfish impulse, that sitting around thinking of yourself all day can produce no good fruit for yourself, and that getting out and doing charity can get you off that track. I was very depressed once and started volunteering at a soup kitchen every day. It didn't transform me into a happy person but it got my too-inwardly-focused thoughts out of a rut.