Pretty much the only use case I have for itunes is to sideload music to my iphone, so I go into my windows partition a couple times a month to do it.

I had a similar problem, I just switched to foobar2k https://apps.apple.com/us/app/foobar2000/id1072807669 on my iphone. There are some... interesting UI design choices, but no itunes required. Decoupled https://decoupled.app/ is also nice.

LOL, Decoupled had me in the first paragraph of that about page!

I don't know why I never thought to try third party for music stuff, I will definitely check these out, thank you.

My music library is about 32GB now, hope those can deal with that.