Everyone who is taking this too seriously and disagreeing with the rankings is missing the fact that this is some absolutely hilarious comedy.
Look at the review for the arkansas black apple, it's hilarious.
> This teeth-shattering oddity, boasting a deep red hue that’ll make a dark cherry look like a fluorescent glow stick, will destroy your helpless mouth with every unfortunate bite. A ten out of ten on the Mohs Hardness Scale, this apple would perform admirably as a drill tip in a diamond mine. While true the hardness marginally decreases if left in your refrigerator for a full year, those patient enough to plan lunch into the next decade will be sorely disappointed with a thick-skinned carbuncle that tastes and feels like an uncooked russet potato. Truly despicable.
Look at the review for the arkansas black apple, it's hilarious.
> This teeth-shattering oddity, boasting a deep red hue that’ll make a dark cherry look like a fluorescent glow stick, will destroy your helpless mouth with every unfortunate bite. A ten out of ten on the Mohs Hardness Scale, this apple would perform admirably as a drill tip in a diamond mine. While true the hardness marginally decreases if left in your refrigerator for a full year, those patient enough to plan lunch into the next decade will be sorely disappointed with a thick-skinned carbuncle that tastes and feels like an uncooked russet potato. Truly despicable.