Look into Cognitive Distortions - those are the self conversation lies we tell ourselves, as we "play ourselves". Cognitive distortions take the form of exaggerations of the unknown future, reading others' minds (which is impossible) and then taking a negative thought attributed to others as truth. Cognitive distortions are in general are a nasty little asshole inside your head constantly being negative.

I suggest you look into Dr. David Burns, the father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the first person to seriously document and address this negative self conversation vicious cycle, and how to defeat it.