> but the first 500k are near impossible to get without a network in old money
Four hundred* golden tickets per year winning $500k available here for the low price of $0, although an application is required, and some light strings are attached: https://www.ycombinator.com/deal
You sound like you are making a lot of excuses, but I actually deeply agree with every negative point that you make.
As you are pointing out, the risk of being a founder is just not worth it for you or most people, financially or socially or personally. It rarely makes sense even if you are already wealthy or privileged: even given the advantages you have correctly identified, the expected outcome is failure. Without those advantages the rewards for the risks are even worse. Calculate the median return[1][2][3] implied for the majority of ycombinator founders and it is approximately zero.
Four hundred* golden tickets per year winning $500k available here for the low price of $0, although an application is required, and some light strings are attached: https://www.ycombinator.com/deal
* https://www.ycombinator.com/companies