Or, they like having sex? I'm not having sex with my kid sleeping in the same room. And I'm not particularly interested in having to manage my sex life around my kids sleep schedule.
I don't know why you think adults wanting a space they can do whatever they want without their kids witnessing the activity means they have a "weird focus on individualism".
In our case the benefits of better sleep for both of us at night made it worth the loss of flexibility/spontaneity with sex. We got to skip the sleep-deprived phase of caring for a newborn thanks to bedsharing. Better sleep makes it easier to feel up for sex as well!
I would advise new parents to consider their values and weigh the costs of a variety of approaches.
This is harder these days. I remember hearing some speculation early in the pandemic that there would be a lot of first children coming out of it but very few second or greater children. The data on this should be starting to come out now.
Well fortunately toddlers are natural libido killers - it is probably an additional protection mechanism along with the hormones controlling lactation to prevent you from becoming parents again so soon :).
You are just so tired the first few months catching up on sleep.
Do you assume the child never sleeps? Even co-sleeping, our son would go to sleep before us (either staying in the bed on the floor or being transferred to a crib). There can be other places in the home to be intimate.
>Do you assume the child never sleeps? Even co-sleeping, our son would go to sleep before us (either staying in the bed on the floor or being transferred to a crib). There can be other places in the home to be intimate.
I assume that banging in the kitchen is a fun adventure sometimes, but I'd prefer to do it in my bed most of the time. And accusing me of being "oddly focused on the individual" is both wildly inaccurate and quite frankly a lazy attempt at trying to explain why people want privacy. On this site, of all places, I'd expect better.
You’re right, that part is the worst part in my experience.
I think whatever allows the parents to be happy and take the best care of their kids is ideal. If they need sex to stay close (very normal) then so be it. I think modeling a close and loving relationship is great for kids.
We co-slept with our kids and it was terrible for our sex life. I don’t regret it - the kids loved it and it made a lot of things easier, but I have a hard time imagining how you’d tackle the sex aspect without a great support network and flexible work - anything to allow more time alone here and there.
I don't know why you think adults wanting a space they can do whatever they want without their kids witnessing the activity means they have a "weird focus on individualism".