I'm inclined to say that racism in Italy is different from the general notion of it: I mean, there are certainly racists in Italy, no point in denying that, especially towards some ethnicities (Africans, middle Eastern and South Americans in particular, they are considered too loud and unreliable - coming from us it's really something - and often also worse than that) but Italians are mainly suspicious of what they don't know (yet) until they know them, like we still live in small state cities, surrounded by walls, that don't trust each other. But it's mostly a trust thing: still people from the north usually don't trust people from the south and vice versa.
In Rome I've seen many times that Romans prefer Romans like them, just because it makes them feel safer.
Until they realize they really don't like each other.
Think of it as "the evil you know".
I must also say that they are often wrong and that there is a good chunk of the population who really doesn't care where you come from and just loves being with others.
I only spent a month and a half in Italy, almost all of it in Milan, but I was around italian families a lot. The north south thing really seemed like a big deal, though obviously for some more of a joke than others, as you say.
In at least half of the young families (kids aged elementary to high school) I was around in Milan, one or both parents were originally from the south. They spoke of it almost like how immigrants do: they'd moved north for better jobs/better life, with the implicit sacrifice of being close to family/environs where their real roots were. I guess the southerner stereotype to northerners was sneaky/mafia etc, while the reverse was something like overly bourgeois, slick without substance, moneygrubbing etc. Very interesting and a bit sad (that development in the country seems so uneven).
I never got to visit the south so if I ever get to go back I hope to spend just as much time in the south as I did in the north.
The only other place I know well with such strong and old regional beefs is South Korea and that's really only between two regions, plus people from Jeju stereotypically don't trust mainlanders I guess.
There's a similar dynamic in South Africa between Cape Town and Johannesburg. Cape Town is tourism, tech and surfing, Johannesburg is industry (mining, smelting, utilities) and 'business'. Cape Town has even earned the nickname of Slaapstadt (Sleep Town), a play on Kaapstadt, the Afrikaans name.
> In at least half of the young families (kids aged elementary to high school) I was around in Milan, one or both parents were originally from the south. They spoke of it almost like how immigrants do
That's correct.
A lot of families moved from the south to the north in the past 70 years and they lived the same experience you hear from migrants today: discrimination, poverty, segregation etc etc
So many moved to the point that at least half of the north, especially in Lombardy, is made by families with roots in the south (usually grandparents, many are from Sicily)
There are many popular stories about the infamous "we don't rent to people from the south" you could find on the listings all over the north (from Bologna to the Alps)
My parents moved in the late 60s from the country side 100kms south of Rome to the city to find a job as well
My uncles went to Germany, Belgium, Argentina and then have come back only because their parents were becoming old and needed support
I moved from Rome to Milan as well, not in the same conditions of course, I moved for a well payed job, but I still had to move to get it
It is so engrained in our recent history that it's taken for granted that if you are stuck in your homecity in the south the only way to change things is move to the north, that there is even a comic movie from the 80s titled "thanks to Apulia region for giving us the Milanese"
On the other hand people move to the south when looking for a better lifestyle, better climate, better food or just being closer to the sea, and many of those that moved to the north try to go back to where they are from as soon as possible
Including my parents that went back to their city in the country as soon as they retired, especially my father
The north is beautiful, the food is good, but the stereotype says that in the south everything is much better, and I somewhat agree with it.
I can't help it, Milan is not Rome, it will never be.
A risotto will never beat a carbonara.
But that's just my opinion :)
Now that we live almost 800 Kms apart I see my parents rarely, especially my father who really enjoys being alone, away from the crowded city
He went to Rome only to work, he lived there for 50 years, raised two children, but he never really felt part of it, he never lost his accent and never took the Roman one.
So in a way in Italy we are all trying to go back home, one day.
I just did what it felt right
I'm inclined to say that racism in Italy is different from the general notion of it: I mean, there are certainly racists in Italy, no point in denying that, especially towards some ethnicities (Africans, middle Eastern and South Americans in particular, they are considered too loud and unreliable - coming from us it's really something - and often also worse than that) but Italians are mainly suspicious of what they don't know (yet) until they know them, like we still live in small state cities, surrounded by walls, that don't trust each other. But it's mostly a trust thing: still people from the north usually don't trust people from the south and vice versa. In Rome I've seen many times that Romans prefer Romans like them, just because it makes them feel safer. Until they realize they really don't like each other.
Think of it as "the evil you know".
I must also say that they are often wrong and that there is a good chunk of the population who really doesn't care where you come from and just loves being with others.