Lots of negativity in this thread and comments from people that either have not had children or have had them so long ago that they don't remember what is age-appropriate for a 3-year-old.
I'll just second some of the common recommendation:
- Magnatiles. There are a lot of manufacturers out there, some brand name, some not. The good thing is that at this point they have all standardized on the tile sizes, so they are usually compatible.
- LEGO Duplo. The standard LEGO sizes are too small for most toddlers. Duplos are perfect. Kids (and parents) quickly tire of the set themes, but the good news is that you can mix and match pieces and let the kids build whatever crooked houses they want to build.
- Trains and other vehicles that go on rails.
- Picture books that you can read to them while they can follow by looking at the pictures. This is tricky, because in my experience most children books are not great. The biggest problem is usually the lack of a story. Many books are supposedly educational or teach kids good values, but they are poor at story telling. If there is no good story, kids are not interested. Many books also don't have a good balance between text and pictures. Too little text and there's not much for you to read, they'll flip through the book in seconds. Or pictures that do not have enough detail to match the text.
Anyway, the only solution is trial and error.
Admittedly, none of these are exactly "STEM", but I think that's OK. What's more important to stimulate creativity and make learning fun.
Don't cheap out and buy MEGA Bloks. Kids know they are crap. LEGO Duplo are way better. Duplo also are compatible with standard LEGO blocks as they get older.
I will add:
- Tegu blocks
- sand/dirt toys. Doesn't need to be more than a bucket and a shovel. Little ones love digging in the dirt.
- bath toys that demonstrate buoyancy and propulsion. Wind-able toys are better than battery. Simple is better. There is a lot to learn from just playing with a bucket in the tub.
As with the parent, focusing on "STEM" toys isn't really a priority at that age. Stimulating creativity is far more important. If you want to make it "STEM" create a problem that they have to solve through trial and error. But, don't go overboard. It is more important that you are playing with your children than what they are learning.
I dunno about their take on older kids, but for the young ones I think the Montessori method has exactly the right idea: focus on leveling them up on basic stuff like taking things out and putting them away, and on building intuition for how their bodies and how objects in the world move. Pouring water, building with blocks, that kind of thing. Cleaning stuff (they're terrible at, naturally, and can't be trusted with anything serious it so it's not like it's helpful, but they love wiping things down with soapy water then drying them off at young ages) and assembling simple food platters, especially if it's to share and not just for themselves. That sort of thing. Watering plants. They don't need robots and shit at age 3. Stuff that rolls, stuff that stacks, stuff that pours, stuff that sticks together.
The problem is how fast they learn. We have an 18 months old and she solves the challenges so fast. I should be happy but we struggle coming up with new challenges.
Toy for her age are way too basic. Those are very focused on safety, but due to that there is a giant lack of gameplay value. Duplo so far and a "car track" kind of toy have been the best, with lot of books.
Problem with books is that she requires us to read them. Lego animals have been useful,she take them out of a big lego house we built and call them by names. She learned quite a few words this way!
She likes boxes, plastic bottles, zip bags and such, but she understands the tricks fast and gets bored. Hard!
Obviously playing with mom and dad it's still the best thing
In my opinion Megabloks are better than Duplo. You can build much larger things with Megabloks, and your structures are more resilient because the connectors are stronger. Legos are far better than knockoff legos but for kids small enough to eat legos, the best block-building toys are Megabloks.
All great suggestions - can highly recommend Magnatiles and Duplos as well.
Just a word of caution on buying Magnatiles - there are lots of knockoff brands out there, not just for these but almost all kids toys these days (duplos and trains included), and some can be dangerous:
> Last December, Jennifer White of Appleton, Wis., received Imden Magnetic Blocks for her 4-year-old son as a gift. Her son was rushed to the hospital after the toy broke and he ingested some magnets, Ms. White said.
> The worst part? The Imden-branded product was listed right next to industry-leading brands like Magformers and Magnatiles, which meet U.S. safety standards.
I share your experience with books. The books from Daniel Tiger (3 minute stories and 5 minute stories) worked great for us. Also a series of "5 minute (theme) tales" we always find for $5 at Ross worked great too.
In my home country there are comic books for young kids (Turma da Mônica) and my 3y10m loves them. The ratio between text and drawings is amazing, because it's a comic book. I don't know which ones would be equivalent in English. I highly recommend you to try it.
> - Magnatiles. There are a lot of manufacturers out there, some brand name, some not. The good thing is that at this point they have all standardized on the tile sizes, so they are usually compatible.
Seconded. My kids are extremely hard on toys (and everything else... house, clothes. Ugh) and Magna-Tiles brand magnatiles have been heavily played with by all three over ~4-5 years so far (since we bought the first set), with only a couple tiles broken. We've bought a total of three fairly big sets at probably $200-250ish total spent so far (I think we're finally done buying them, they can build some huge shit with how many they have now) but it's some of the best money we've spent on toys. I don't know how the cheaper knockoffs are but the name brand ones are good value, even at the price.
I definitely agree with the LEGO Duplo recommendations. Of all the toys, our Duplo's have endured for years.
For a 3 yo, simple wood blocks with different shapes and sizes are great for developing spatial skills and generally provide many hours of fun.
I've tried many other "STEM" toys over the years, but find most battery-operated toys, robotics sets, lose their appeal quickly and go unused. Just keep it simple.
18 months old we still have problems with wood blocks. She tear any building apart. Very rarely she builds something and gets very annoyed when it falls apart. Duplo have been much better, since she succeeded she persisted and got better motor skills
I'll just second some of the common recommendation:
- Magnatiles. There are a lot of manufacturers out there, some brand name, some not. The good thing is that at this point they have all standardized on the tile sizes, so they are usually compatible.
- LEGO Duplo. The standard LEGO sizes are too small for most toddlers. Duplos are perfect. Kids (and parents) quickly tire of the set themes, but the good news is that you can mix and match pieces and let the kids build whatever crooked houses they want to build.
- Trains and other vehicles that go on rails.
- Picture books that you can read to them while they can follow by looking at the pictures. This is tricky, because in my experience most children books are not great. The biggest problem is usually the lack of a story. Many books are supposedly educational or teach kids good values, but they are poor at story telling. If there is no good story, kids are not interested. Many books also don't have a good balance between text and pictures. Too little text and there's not much for you to read, they'll flip through the book in seconds. Or pictures that do not have enough detail to match the text. Anyway, the only solution is trial and error.
Admittedly, none of these are exactly "STEM", but I think that's OK. What's more important to stimulate creativity and make learning fun.