Absolutely agree with this. And I'll add to it also, if I may (it might seem slightly off-topic at first, but there is a point)
I used to be very shy (I still am in some specific ways) and one of the consequences I didn't realise at the time is that I had no idea where my true boundaries were.
So I challenged myself to discover them with initially small tasks; stuff as basic as "keeping eye contact when handing over change to a clerk" that sort of thing. I'd then progress to starting conversations with people in queues, going to bars on my own and trying to make friends and so on and so forth.
I'm very aware that at all points to an outsider I was probably acting a little weird (in the same way that someone learning to rollerskate looks a bit silly), but progressively these tests pushed my boundaries further and further. I even turned it into a bit of a game, trying to find more and more elaborate ways to make myself uncomfortable... I soon discovered that no matter how nerve-wracking and scary these encounters were, I never ended up harmed.
The net result is a compound benefit a/ the confidence to be able to the social things I want b/ a million amusing anecdotes to tell new people I meet when I do those things. Now it's pretty hard to be lonely, because it's easy to strike up a great conversation with almost anyone and find some amusing/interesting common ground.
The little tasks you assigned to yourself to try and tackle at least the low hanging fruit are in a way core to the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is the most often used form of psychotherapy not in small part due to its reported effectiveness. It's great to hear your story, thanks.
I used to be very shy (I still am in some specific ways) and one of the consequences I didn't realise at the time is that I had no idea where my true boundaries were.
So I challenged myself to discover them with initially small tasks; stuff as basic as "keeping eye contact when handing over change to a clerk" that sort of thing. I'd then progress to starting conversations with people in queues, going to bars on my own and trying to make friends and so on and so forth.
I'm very aware that at all points to an outsider I was probably acting a little weird (in the same way that someone learning to rollerskate looks a bit silly), but progressively these tests pushed my boundaries further and further. I even turned it into a bit of a game, trying to find more and more elaborate ways to make myself uncomfortable... I soon discovered that no matter how nerve-wracking and scary these encounters were, I never ended up harmed.
The net result is a compound benefit a/ the confidence to be able to the social things I want b/ a million amusing anecdotes to tell new people I meet when I do those things. Now it's pretty hard to be lonely, because it's easy to strike up a great conversation with almost anyone and find some amusing/interesting common ground.
Hope that helps a little.