I agree, San Jose is too spread out for my taste: it's like a giant suburb. I lived in San Jose for about a year (Glenview neighborhood) and for pretty much everything I had to take the car.

I find the East Bay much more livable, in particular the nice parts of Oakland and Berkeley. Streets seem to be designed for pedestrians (or bicyclists) instead of cars. Plus the weather rarely gets in the 90s, which is invaluable for me.