Regarding point 1, I would recommend one parent becoming full-time parent and forgo work. My wife stayed at home to raise our two daughters (both in school now). Creates a better dynamic for the children and for the parents, these aren't times you can get back.
If you decide to do this, take it seriously and treat homemaking as full-time work. Make regular payments into retirement and disability accounts in the stay-at-home parent's name. If you envision longer-term SAH parenting, make time for them to attend first aid, outdoorsmanship, pedagogy, home repair, etc. classes on occasion. If both parents will be at home, try to find activities that will allow you to have conversations with other adults outside of your family unit (occasional "continuing homemaker's ed" classes like those mentioned previously can help with this). Have a plan to ease back into the workforce gradually as the kids get older or suddenly if you suffer a financial shock.
Raising a family is one chapter in your lives. Make the decisions/sacrifices/changes/committments to do it right. You only get one chance.
Here's one possible way: move out to the country, so that you can set a housing budget that does not require two salaries. With your mate, look at your relative strengths and desires, and adjust your work lives to get the income you need and not more. Spend the rest of the time with your kids. Give work travel to your colleagues with no kids, stay home. It's just 15 years, you've got plenty of career after this chapter is over.
Also, to have two parents available, you need to not get divorced. Which means in addition to keeping you kids healthy you have to protect your relationship from degrading.
