"Meritocracy" is regarded with derision in no small part because what is actually meant by it, rather than what you describe, is "this person is similar to me and I like them, so I think they do a better job."
It's the ingroup club made manifest. What you describe would be great, but it's not what "meritocracy" actually means in practice.
Then we need to call out fake meritocracy as such. I'm actually looking at this situation with some sort of confusion, because I've never seen proclaimed meritocracy to actually mean "boy's club".
But then again, I'm a white caucasian heterosexual male, so maybe I just don't notice. (Previous sentence is meant literally, not ironically.)
You're right, we do need to call out fake meritocracy that way. And people do call out fake meritocracy as such. Here's a bunch: http://istechameritocracy.com/
What often happens, though, is that responses to these claims become these backhanded dismissals. "Oh, you're just overreacting." "Well, I don't see it." I'm a straight, white, cis dude, too, so for a long time it was hard for me to notice it. I promise you, there is a point--and maybe it's not one you will ever personally see, but it exists--where it becomes too big, too obvious to ignore.
It's the ingroup club made manifest. What you describe would be great, but it's not what "meritocracy" actually means in practice.