On New Year's eve I was holding a book in my hand written in 1927 that was someone else's "intellectual property", and when the clock struck midnight magically it wasn't! I'm the one with the unhinged take?
My take is literally the only take grounded in reality.
I will pay you ten thousand dollars if you can come up with a set of axioms that define 1) physical property rights 2) slavery 3) copyright and patent laws, where #3 are #1 but not #2.
There is a LOT of room for improvement on copyright and patent laws, no disagreement. But there is a lot of middle ground between where we are now and no laws at all around copyright/patents. In an increasingly digital society, creators should be able to exercise some level of control over what they create for some (relatively short) period of time.
FWIW, I probably lean slightly closer to your side of the spectrum than most, and even I feel this take is extreme.