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This is why we should replace names with uuids.


That would make parties a bit awkward, but it would avoid collisions.


Hi,my name is 1bd0a30d-b415-4747-9650-f1f6e530cd2a, can I get you something to drink?


What a coincidence! That's my name too!!


John Jacob Jingleheimer cfeb6ddc-43a5-4ba9-8a28-b71d93407c78, that's my name too. Whenever I go out, the people always shout, cfeb6ddc-43a5-4ba9-8a28-b71d93407c78


As The Clash booms through the speakers


Lock the taskbar, lock the taskbar!


Hmm, yes, I don’t know what I want, but I’m sure we’ll hash it out together


We do have personal numbers used for identification purposees, in my country we have the OIB

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_identification_number...

which superseded the JMBG

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unique_Master_Citizen_Number


JMBG? One of the ex-YU countries?


Yes, Croatia moved to OIB, which is randomly generated unlike the MBG which was derived and contains personal information, like date of birth, region and gender.


Countries don’t really want unique IDs per person, even though it would extremely simplify all administrative work, because:

- How can spies have false identities, if you can account for every individual?

- The only scalable way to get voters is not to make people switch to the opposite party, but to flood a country with people who will vote for you.


Both points sound really weak I‘m afraid. From the perspective of a ruler of a country, both are much larger attack vectors for adversaries than opportunities for myself.


> Countries don’t really want unique IDs per person

Given the number is countries that already have those and those that attempt it every few years... I'd say it's not correct.

For spies, you just issue multiple identities - the origin country shouldn't have any issues with that part. It already happened for witness protection level stuff.

For voting... yeah, that's a citation needed. Politicians mostly worry about foreigners coming to vote.


That's BS, you can have spies with or without unique IDs, and there's better ways to get votes than creating fake people.

Also, a lot of countries do have IDs...


Biometrics have made it very hard for spies to have many different identities.


I propose we use UUIDv4 to interfere with any attempts to build demographic databases.


I strongly suggest UUIDv7, with our birthdate encoded as time.

Ordering the world population by birthday becomes so easy. Plus no endless discussion on wether or not we should use UUID as primary key.


People wouldn’t be fond of their name divulging exactly how old they are.


It's not a matter of being fond of, we're trying to be efficient here


I mean, it’s not hard to guess how old people are…


It’s hard for that guess to be accurate, though. Some people look ten years older or younger than they really are.


Yeah but think of the automated age discrimination during resume/CV screenings.


As someone moved several times in my life I could support (potentially several) personal uuid with global post routing service. Having declaring new postal address to all essential and random places one by one where I was mandated to give out to receive something I couldn't miss (authorities, banks, essential service providers, all else) is a common nuisance in an otherwise difficult period of life. Having a trustful[*] service (preferably post services itself, trusted parcel services) that translates a postal uuid to a current address each time a postal mail is supposed to be sent, current living address is righfully needed, would be a great advance (some countries have a postal address change service locally, some partially, that does similar).

[*] trustful, yes, that is a hard nut to crack! Who can be trusted with physical address and for what purpose, but in some sense it may be better for its controlled nature rather than the wild west of postal address world that we live in.


At the very least names should be unique strings, preferably pronouncable


In The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin, the anarchists have names assigned at birth by a computer, guaranteed to be unique. They are gender-neutral (I think their artificial language doesn't have the possibility for gendered names) and monomial.

(I highly recommend reading the book, it's one of my favourite novels.)


They are not guaranteed to be unique as I recall, at one point the main character gets in a fight with a guy who demanded he change his name since he was tired of getting confused.

Ursula Le Guin didn't sugarcoat anarchism, at least, though I still think the depiction of the main planet system is a lot more depressingly plausible.


Those two names, IIRC, are unique but similar. (Shevek and Shevet, or something like that.)


Correct horse battery staple


“That’s amazing! I’ve got the same combination on my luggage!”


Pronounceable by *someone* or by you? Try getting together a native Cantonese speaker, Arabic speaker, and Inuktitut speaker and find a name all three of them can pronounce without noticeable issues.


Great! Everyone can get named a combination of Papa and Pizza, which are the only 2 words I've heard consistently pronounced everywhere I've traveled.

On second thought, I think the Japanese say "piza", so we're back to a unary sequence now. I call dibs on Papa¹


Well, Papa, if you've only ever heard pizza being pronounced correctly you haven't played Mystery of the Druids.


Great point. Touché


You need to have a restricted set of allowed syllables to prevent attackers from having names with similar pronounciation to common ones.

In unique name world I would totally for a scammer telling me "Hello, my name is Marck Zuckaberg, give me all your data".



I dare you to name your kids UUIDs and see what happens.

I suspect when they are old enough to change their names, they will. For example, Wavy Gravy's son changed his name back to a normal family name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wavy_Gravy#Personal_life


"Ohhh, if it isn't 99adbad3-f3c8-4c52-99d8-be692c62b9db again! Man, what a blast last Friday at e128001f-9737-4245-b08b-73bc50db0204's party, right?"


That's impractical. Someone made a base8192 Hangul UUID conversion, only ten characters long.



Telling Siri to pronounce the output there is absolutely wild, I may not speak Korean but can tell it’s outputting unpronounceable nonsense.


I tried using Google translate's voiceover, it seems fine? I don't have an iPhone so I can't compare with Siri. It is obviously a nonsensical string of ten characters, but all hangeul characters should be pronouncible.


Well obviously in your personal circles you'd still use nicknames.

99ad and e128 in this case.


First guy is "bad", second guy is "bo8b" (Bob).


I just go by Ad Bad. Yeah I know about the other guy. E7 123 and the other college friends call me Ad Bad 3 and him Ad 88


But you'd call em 99ad for short in casual conversation


I feel like the names we have now already work well for casual conversations


Absolutely... but they will be mere nicknames.


Everyone should get their own emoji that looks just like them.


My parents had me done one for my first ID card! They called it "a photo".


Don't give the Unicode consortium ideas!


I vote for [nanoid](https://github.com/ai/nanoid).


Right after we upload minds into machines.


As someone who already has trouble with names, I endorse this. Now everyone will feel my pain


Which version? Probably UUID v7, right? So names can be easily indexed in a btree database


An IPv6 would also. Then this chap could have his website hosted on it.


that is silly. Obviously it should be the hash of someone’s genetic code plus the hash of the mind state vector at last checkpoint (to account for twins and clones)


Even monozygotic twins do not have absolutely identical DNA. And even with clones I bet there are many errors in cell replication, besides the epigenetic differences.


A quick tattoo on the arm and your set for life.


And forehead. Maybe four letters, on a scarlet base.



I'm _Not Sure_ this is a good idea


Sorry but I am voting for the opposite solution, meaning:

    with Session( engine ) as session:
        youngest_ids_subq = (
            select( func.max( People.id ).label( "max_id" ) )
            .group_by( People.name )
            .subquery()
        )

        purge_stmt = (
            delete( People ) 
            .where( People.id.not_in( select( youngest_ids_subq.c.max_id ) ) )
        )

        session.execute( purge_stmt )
        session.commit()

    unique_idx = Index( "uq_people_name", People.name, unique=True )
    unique_idx.create(bind=engine)


So as the younger iteration, our friend Mark would now own bankrupcy offices now, on top of his shares in Meta, and be protected from impersonation forever.

Your version of the Purge would make an interesting Stephen King movie.


Oh I wasn't talking about that part of the equation, in the money regards I think in the people_money table we would be better off running "truncate"


Even better: social security numbers


lol, if it's downvoted that's how you know americans did it, because people from other countries have no idea why SS number is important or what it is


Why, we got something similar in other countries. Here in NL it is called BSN; Burger Service Number (burger means civilian).

I believe the civilian should be able to create identities based on their private key (which only the government knows) and these should have different details. Like for example, a nickname, a realname, a telephone number, and address, or multiple of these. But then, also the civilian should be able to revoke the licenses. Or, rather: they should be valid for a short amount of time.


> burger means civilian

Nice try, so you tell me that the burger hospital I passed by is not in fact a place where they patch up burgers until they’re back on their feet?

A lot of countries have a unique ID for their citizens which is used for routine identification. On websites, at the bank, etc. nothing special about SSNs in this regard, except that they were leaked more times than you can count.


> On websites, at the bank, etc. nothing special about SSNs in this regard, except that they were leaked more times than you can count.

That's not that special either. Plenty of countries make their numbers de jure public information.

The most special thing about the SSN is that the cards say (or said) not for identification, and then they're used for exactly that.


> Plenty of countries make their numbers de jure public information.

That's the difference. A lot of people and processes in the US make the assumption that the SSN is a well kept secret despite them being publicly leaked so many times. This assumption is a weakness for any process that relies on "secret" SSNs.


> burger means civilian

I just realised this is probably the German etymological branch of "burgoise".


Sorry to ruin your fun but in German it's actually just Bürger (capitalized because all nouns are). Though the true etymology might be entirely different.


Bourgeoisie or Burgher in English, Bourgeois in French or in German Bürger, all from old Frankish burg, for town. English has both words, but they now have different meanings, and the term Burgher is mostly obsolete.

The divide (or perception of a divide) between city dwellers and the country is not something the US invented, these divisions predate the colonisation of America.


> on their private key (which only the government knows)

What? Why?

How is a key private if the government (which belongs to the public) can read/edit/use it?


Because the responsibility of the proof that you are you lies, ultimately, at the proper authorities.


You could prove that through the government signing your public key...


Oh, we know what it is and we also know that it is terrible for identification.

Just hand out IDs with an actual unique id number with a check digit to _all_ citizens.


A mix of six upper and lower case gets you nearly 20 billion unique IDs, which should be enough for a while.

If we colonise the galaxy we could increase that to seven letters.


A social security number is unique. I do agree it's better to use a different unique number.


At least in my country, the SSN is unique and everyone has one.


How is it terrible? SSNs rather reliably identify individual people, actual non-fraudulent collisions are very rare.

The fraud is a separate issue and SSNs are obviously misused, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not a reasonable system to uniquely identify multiple people with the same name and DOB.


The fact it is tied to social security and is not called “national ID” shows already it is a legacy system, + the fact there is no authentication in place


Authentication is completely separate from identification, you shouldn’t be using any kind of ID number to authenticate anyone. That does not suggest that ID numbers are not good for identification.


okay, mr... nullptr


See, someone told me few days ago that sarcasm doesn't work via text. Lol


Every time that kind of thing is suggested, people go on about “The Mark of the Beast.”

This is why we can’t have nice things.


What is more likely to happen is a global namespace of unique names. Famous and powerful people get to pick first, because they are more important. Names can be inherited and become signs of your class and wealth.

You get to be Bob192382, because you got in early and only had to add 6 numeric digits. In the year 2100, we're at 15 digits.


I guess people missed my sarcasm here.

See the username efforts of tech companies like Discord, etc.


> 15 digits

A billion (-1) is only 9 digits, even with only one "name" that would likely be sufficient, or 10 maybe digits at the absolute extreme.


How would this be enforced? Do you get punished on social media if you claim you are Bob?




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