I've been working remotely for ten years, in a city with a very small but friendly tech scene. A lack of local meetups doesn't always indicate that there's no tech scene, either - when I first started working remotely I was the only person I knew who was doing it, but just by being vocal about it I quickly found others. If there are no meetups in your field then starting one is a brilliant way to tick a bunch of boxes here:

- You will bring people out of the woodwork who are in similar positions, but haven't taken the initiative to start such a group themselves.

- You'll gain contacts in your scene, both locally and in other cities.

- You'll gain experience and profile that will help you in a search for remote work, as you can point to community engagement activities that say a lot more about your dedication than a couple of udemy courses in some particular stack.

If you really don't want to start a local group (or if there's no nearby community large enough to support this) then look for user groups with active online communities (mailing lists definitely count) and try to make some occasional trips to other cities for meetups and conferences.

IRC: get online and talk to people on freenode, the experience there covers both project related and social aspects.

It won't make your city any less dead, but if you get online and help people with what you know, and learn from others, you'll certainly make friends.

I found my last job via a meetup but am currently in the same position as you, which is what makes this a little bit harder.

Start your own tech meetup in said city.